


To rise and to fall

by Lia_Lia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, M/M, Post War, Recovery, muggle danceclub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 14:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19359250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Lia/pseuds/Lia_Lia
Summary: Recovery is the superhuman achievement





	To rise and to fall

**Author's Note:**

> TW

Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the blond git dancing a few feet away from him. Weeks had passed before he understood he couldn’t just show up every weekend, hoping to see him as he seemed to follow his own unpredictable schedule so he decided to come whenever he wanted, a burning fire devouring his guts as he scanned the crowd, as tonight. Tonight was a lucky night; Malfoy was there, his pale skin glittering in the neon lights, wordlessly begging to be consumed. Harry couldn’t help it, seeing him in that state of mind always made his heart blow.

Here in this soundless muggle nightclub, Draco wasn’t the same anymore. His own headphones on, he let himself be, shamelessly. The music louder than his thoughts, he would dance until dawn, exhausting his body, ripping the voices out of his brain. Then, when the club will close, he will find his way toward the exit, meeting his lover there and heading to a bed, waiting for them. He would feel better for a day or two and Harry would lie beside him when nightmares would crawl back again.

It was hard, dating Malfoy. He hadn’t learn to wear a mask, he had learn to become it and months of trying to destroy it had left scars. He didn’t knew how to act without his pureblood etiquette and he had had to learn how to live for the sole purpose of living. Being the unique Malfoy heir was all he had been raised to be: don’t stain your family name, marry a pureblood, have a male heir. But he had grown knowing that it wasn’t right, that he wouldn’t follow that path. So he did what was right: he lied to save a scared-head boy, threw him a wand, testified against family members during trials. And at night he would hear their voices in his head, he would feel the ache of too many crucio, the bites of an hippogriff or the strong jaws of a werewolf, the sharp pain of blades and he would wake up screaming. He would then endure the day trying to be himself when he was only wearing another mask that didn’t fit as well. Only when he started dating the Saviour did he let himself crumble to pieces. Harry would sing him to sleep, hug him so tight he would finally feel safe and warm. Holding him so tight he knew he would never let go. Offering him a home and not a bed, a place that will be a safe hearth, somewhere to rise and somewhere to fall.

Now in the muggle club, he had another place to be. He would show up there, always unplanned, and live. Sometimes he would smile and Harry’s heart would miss a beat at how pure that smile could still be. Sometimes he would leave his hoodie in a stool and live without fearing the gaze on his Mark, on his scared limbs. And sometimes, as tonight, he would dance with his eyes opened, locked in his lover’s one and wordlessly agreeing that he was alive, and that Harry’d been right, it didn’t always sucked.

“Do you know what I was thinking about tonight?” did he asked as Harry held the door of his flat open.

“Tell me.

-I was thinking about you.

-Pleasant thoughts I hope.

-I was thinking about how much I love you.

-I love you too.” He smiled against Draco’s lips.

“I’m ready, now.” He whispered later, Harry curled around him in the morning light. “Would you take me there?

-I will.

-Will you be there when I get out?

-I will.

-Thank you Harry. Thank you for everything. Thank you for saving me. I don’t know if I’d still be alive without you.

-Draco…

-No it’s okay. I’m okay. It’s just, you know. I used to hate you, for fucking everything up and making me want to stay. But now I’m happy you did. And I’m going to prove it and make up for it. I’m going to get my brain fucked up and fixed again, and when I’ll be back, I’ll make sure you’ll feel like the happiest man alive.


End file.
